After nearly two decades of abuse and political bullying, the North American Friends of Fur Association (NAFFA) has launched a retaliation campaign against Paint and all supporters of the art industry."The line has been crossed," says Marcus Staybakk, part-time security officer at the Guggenheim Museum of contemporary art in New York City. Marcus, an employee of the museum for the past eight years, claims to have never experienced anything like this before. "One second I was reprimanding a guy for taking photos when suddenly another individual ran up and hurled several mink coats right into the center of a Kandinsky painting."
Police arrived at the museum twenty minutes after the incident, confirming that the coats entered the painting, pierced the canvas, and fully exited through its back. No word on the painting's condition has been offered, though art enthusiasts and tourists fear for the worst.
"I can't believe that painting is gone forever," a tourist on the scene reported. "Who did you say painted it?"
Despite the major media attention, this is not the first instance in which extremists have carried out coordinated attacks against paint affiliated associations. But this new media focus has brought the debate to the front line, forcing Americans to reconsider their stance on the conflict.
"It's really a shame the way these radicals have sunken to the level of disgusting anti-fur extremists. That painting was irreplaceable," said Staybakk, "but I can definitely see why they smashed it."
Even with public support mounting, there is a growing concern that police aren't doing enough to protect the rights of trappers and housewives. Lieutenant Raymond King of the NYPD offered a personal statement. "We are 100% behind the fur industry. These paint tossing terrorists have no respect for the badge," said King, his hand pointing to the police badge on his standard issue Lynx fur policeman's vest.
It is unclear whether or not NYPD officers are receiving payoffs from NAFFA. Sources indicate that anyone with enough courage to make accusations and develop a case against the conglomerate fur industry has been discovered several days later looking fabulous and warm.
No official statement on the violence has made by NAFFA. The increasing number of incidents suggest a pattern of destruction, though no larger affiliation has been proven. It appears that the radicals have taken the law into their own hands, which have been identified by police as wearing baby rabbit skin gloves. "It's not as much about being on the lookout as... If one of them touches you, you'll know it's them," explained King.
"...did you know that the babies have the softest fur," Vice President of NAFFA Rita Peltworthy explained yesterday during a press conference held outside of the Governor's mansion.
When asked about the recent spring of assaults against paint and painters, Rita responded harshly. "Do you people have any idea what it's doing to the animals? Now that we're constantly forced to replace these coats? No, I'm not proposing a course of violence for our members. It's time fur enthusiasts were painted in a more positive light, one that's more cohesive with what fur represents--glamour and sophistication."
An undisclosed source involved in the underground movement spoke off the record that, "It's going to be a dark age for artists. Be warned... If you're painting a beautiful portrait of a tree in Central Park, expect an arctic fox hat to smash right through it. How dare you do what you do out in the open."
With no end in sight, the situation has entered into state of mutual destruction in what has come to be called "The Red Scare II." More news to follow shortly as events are expected to take place at upcoming art premieres and in the homes of couples who decide to repaint their living rooms.
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