Los Angeles, CA -- Rita Totts, 57 year old mother and retired kindergarten teacher, left the critical care unit at St. Thompson's Hospital this morning after undergoing her 100th cosmetic surgery.
"And boy does she finally look beautiful," says Dr. Rupert Madawak, her long time friend and plastic surgeon. Bound in gauze and incredibly swollen, Rita blushed at the comment-- the minimal cheek function required for hospital discharge.
Today was a breakthrough for medicine, highlighting the body's enduring spirit and ability to heal. Although he beat the former record by an unprecedented 62 operations, Dr. Madawak swears that every surgery up until this point was absolutely necessary. "Everything I did was just leading up to now. I couldn't leave her the way she was."
"Today's operation really caught the little things that were still keeping her from being a Perfect 10." The 21 hour surgery was declared a success.
Rita first went under the knife eighteen years ago after she was diagnosed with Endocarditis, a bacterial form of heart disease. With her organs in danger of failing, she had to make a choice--enjoy one more week with her family or undergo a possibly life saving procedure with a high risk of complications. Rita made the decision to place her life in the hands of her doctors. Thankfully, the surgery was successful and Rita made a full recovery. "Once I underwent coronary artery bypass graft surgery, I realized how simple an easy it was to improve things about myself I didn't like."
"I could have waited forever on a heart transplant list, but now I steal the heart of every man who walks by," she whimpered in agony before receiving an additional dose of pain killers. When asked if anything compared to the fear she experienced undergoing such a dangerous procedure, Ms. Totts responded, "It's true what they say about the first cut being the deepest. Mostly I stick to the breasts, midriff, and ass these days. Outpatient stuff, really."
That isn't to say Rita's surgeries have all been successful. Her medical records indicate she's been pronounced dead three times on the operating table, and that was just this morning. She's an outspoken risk taker, chasing a dream vision for herself (in and out of anesthesia). But she's still human, or at least 78% human tissue.
The true success story here is the creative marriage of Rita and Dr. Madawak, who celebrate today as a major milestone for both medicine and their friendship. "Dr. Madawak has my best interests at heart. I trust his judgment. Sure, he's manipulated me. My nipples were out of control." After having the question re-explained to her, Rita went on to say, "Physicaly? Sure. Mentally? No. He's stubborn though. I mean, every time I see him he keeps suggesting I lose a few vertebrae at the end of my spine."
"Or what he likes to call My Problem Area."
"She continues to outdo herself. Or redo herself." Dr. Madawak told us outside of St. Thompson's hospital. The doctor was quite emotional as Rita was driven away. "What I'm trying to say is that I'd do her. And I'm not just talking about plastic surgery. I'm really into that whole 'Living Doll' sex phenomena."
Ms. Totts returned to her split level home in Orange County where she was briefly reintroduced and subsequently embraced by her worried loved ones. It wasn't just a family affair for this occasion always draws onlookers, the majority of which are young men. "I think she's incredibly hot. But I know she would never let anything sexual happen between us." A young man on the scene reported, "I mean, I'm her son."
"But mainly because I look like she did before surgery--big ears and a fat nose," he added.
Jack Totts, Rita's 20 year old son, is a psychology student at the University of Southern California. "I think she looks good. She has bandages on most of the time, and after they come off she goes right back into surgery. I guess you could say I had a mummy instead of a mommy growing up," Jack Totts chuckled, grappling with the haunting truth of his statement.
Though he often comes over for dinner and sometimes stays the night, the good doctor was unable to attend the reunion due to obligations at St. Thompson's. With a client list containing some of the top celebrities in all of Hollywood, Dr. Madawak has a definite say in the world of glamour. "You know the unfair expectations for women's bodies? I came up with those."
The doctor has written several books on the subject of cosmetic surgery and tours the country every year promoting his work and philosophy. "I do my best to touch people in a way that will change them forever," he told us while injecting himself with Botox. "It doesn't leave a lot of 'me-time', so I've managed to become quite ego-less. People tell me I'm married to my work."
"Which is true since I married a former patient."
Although he's booked solid through June, Dr. Madawak has a little advice for anyone considering cosmetic surgery. "Think about one thing you don't like about yourself. Any of the ten things I'm thinking of looking at you now. Don't you want to see yourself as beautiful? And wouldn't less space between those eyes help you see that?"
His most prized work continues to be Ms. Totts, who is often a featured segment of his motivational speech tour. "Rita Totts has become the poster-woman for self-improvement. I only wish we didn't have to change the poster every two months to accomodate her new face."
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