Paris, Texas-- Martha and Donald Jacobson have patiently waited five years to adopt a child. Now thanks to Obama's universal health care plan, their family is finally about to grow. "Originally we were only going to adopt one child," Donald told reporters on Monday after holding a yard sale to clear space and generate cash. "But the President's new health plan was the final push we needed to take the father, mother, and three siblings too."Though the health care reform doesn't specifically address domestic or international adoption, the Jacobsons were able to read between the lines. "I find it hard to believe that Obama wants us to consider the well being of strangers before our own families," Martha explained as she put the good jewelery in a shoebox under the bed. "He just wants us to treat strangers as part of our families, and that's what we're doing."
"It seemed like the right thing to do," Don said while puffing an 'It's a Family' novelty cigar. "I mean, we're already going to pay for all of their health coverage. Why not welcome them as official Jacobsons?"
After waiting an additional week for the guardianship paperwork to clear, Don and Martha are both very excited to learn about their new dependents. "We know that free medical care is important to them. But what kind of hobbies and interests do they have?"
An English teacher at Marland Middle School, Don Jacobson has long dreamed of starting his own family. Because he and his wife were unable to conceive naturally, the road to becoming parents has been a long and emotional one. "Martha and I visited many fertility clinics with no success. It was a really tough time for us."
In the last six years Don and Martha have spent over $85,000 on experimental techniques and procedures. "Thank God we have such great health coverage. But we realize now it would have been easier to just give the money to another needy family instead of starting our own. We were selfish." By formally adopting the Johanasons, Martha and Don are about to pen a new chapter in their lives. "It's gonna be a change being the parents of two adults and three kids. I'm sure we'll fight over the TV remote or who gets the car Saturday nights."
"I'm a little more concerned about the car coming back than the remote," added Don.
Their decision coincides with Earth Day and Obama's focus on making real changes to conserve the environment. "This new administration is all about going green," Martha explained while denting cans in the grocery store. "Why start a new family when you can recycle? It's about conserving paychecks too-- if two or three families can get by on one paycheck, why ask for more?"
"See? She's a natural mom," added Don. "Having a baby means spending a lot more time at home. We're used to not going to the movies and putting pocket change into our rainy day savings. So it won't be so different now that we can't afford to see movies. Everyday is gonna be a rainy day."
Don and Martha were cleared to adopt Sarah, their new baby girl, days after the health care reform passed. The child's parents could no longer provide for their daughter and wanted a better life for her. Little did they know everything was about to change for the better. "They don't really have any money or possessions," said Don. "But what's family if not people you give money to and never get back?"
"We've been saving for a long time so that we could provide for our baby," Martha explained while setting up additional cots in the nursery. "At first I had my doubts financially. But If the government thinks we have enough money to support ourselves and 47 million uninsured Americans, what's five more?"
Financial estimates show the Jacobsons will most likely be left below the poverty line within three years. However, the faces of their new loved ones give them hope and support. "Now we feel even more connected to the millions of other people under that line. They're also our family."
"No, we don't use the term family loosely," Don added. "And yes, we're registered Democrats."
Like all parents, the Jacobsons hope to one day retire and get taken care of by their kids. However, this dream will be very difficult to accomplish since the Johanasons are twenty years their seniors. But if things turn out for the worst, the excited couple have a backup plan. "We'll probably put ourselves up for adoption," Don explained. "I'm sure the Federal government will adopt us."
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